I just put my son to bed a little bit ago. After he fell asleep I sat there and looked on his book shelf where Brian sits. I couldn't help but wonder how I got here, how my life came to be what it is. In one split moment my whole life was taken away from me and my son was left without his father who loved him dearly. I can't helped but be scared. Scared of the other ball dropping or what the future will bring. What will I say when Brandon asks me why he doesn't have a daddy. I am scared I won't be good enough as a parent and that somehow I will go wrong. I no longer have my rock and I feel like I am so lost. Brian always told me everything was going to be okay, in fact those were his last words to me. But today I am having a hard time believing that everything IS going to be okay.
Lord please give me strength
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