August 23, 2008 - Wow

That was intense yesterday...wow. I guess I had some stuff on my mind :) I just hope that one day someone can be okay with me and my sistuation. Brian will always hold a piece of my heart and I will always love him. So because of that I cant imagine someone being okay with me still loving brian. I have been told not to put him on a pedestal, but we were happy so that will be a little hard. Its funny how you see yourself with one person for the rest of your life, and then all of a sudden it was really for the rest of their life. I want to be happy again. I loved being married, it suited me. I loved having someone you could lay down next every night and wake up to every morning. Someone who knew everything about me and that was okay. I had no insecurities with him and now I am faced with a whole bunch of insecurities. I am told that I am young and not to rule out anything. Im not, it is just hard to imagine that I would be lucky enough to love twice and be loved twice. Do I have to be single again? I dont even remember what that is like.