Mother's Day is a day where the Mother gets showered with love and appreciation and a little gift to show we care. It is a day that moms all over look forward to.
To me, Mother's Day has a different feeling. I only got to celebrate one Mother's Day where my husband showed his appreciation for all that I do and a gift from our then 5 1/2 month old son.
Since my husband passed away one week shy from our son's first birthday the past two Mother's Day brought on different feeling than appreciation and happiness.
Don't get me wrong. I love my son with all of my heart and having him in my life was my saving grace. He is and always will be my angel. However, when your spouse isn't around to make you breakfast in bed, have a card and flowers waiting for you, or just the sweet sound of him saying "Happy Mother's Day" to you when you open your eyes, Mother's Day tends to be bittersweet.
The past two years I would of course spend the day doing something special with my little man, but I always wondered what it would have been like if my husband was still here. What would he of planned? Would he have forgotten as some men do :) ? I tried to recall my one and only Mother's Day with him still here and it seems like a faint memory. We took Brandon to my Mom and Dad's house for his first pool experience. I remember he wasn't too sure about it at first, but once we put him in a floaty he was in heaven :) I had such a great day that day, the best first Mother's Day ever.
This year I had someone to spend it with. Someone my son sees as his Daddy. They went off and shopped for a gift for me together and everything. What made this year special was that I felt like a family again, which probably is the best Mother's Day gift anyone could ever give me. The only person I have to thank for that is God.
So this year I feel blessed and thankful for the life and family I have. Although I will never forget the wonderful memory of what a great husband Brian was and how special he made me feel as a Mother, I look forward to many more years of celebration with my soon to be hubby and my son :)
wow..I couldn't imagine losing my spouse..you are such an encouraging woman of God :)
ReplyDeleteThank you for posting this...even though I am not widowed God has used your words, to make me more grateful for the Husband I have and to not take Him for granted.
Thank you so much for being so transparent. You are blessing so many with this story. <3 God bless you and your family. =]
I know exactly how you feel. My husband will be gone two years on the 11th. That first mothers day without him was hard. Our marriage was failing and out only mother's day together was empty. My daughter was only a month and a half. And even though I started seeing a wonderful man, mother's day and father's day will always be a time to remember what is lost.
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